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Dancing in the Conversation at EO Amsterdam University

I don’t really like the word ‘networking’ – it implies something forced or not easy (I think the term should remain the domain of IT folks). I was recently at the EO conference in Amsterdam and one of my friends asked me if I was going to ‘network’ there – which made me cringe. I know people have said of me that “You’re a great ‘networker’!” I don’t necessarily think that I am, given that you will rarely see me at a ‘networking event.’… But what I am, is fundamentally interested in people… and I really like meeting people (and catching up with people I have known forever.). One thing I do know is that in the early days of RedBalloon when no one had ever heard of it – it was really important for me to get out and about and meet people – to put a face to a website as it were.

When I ask people I meet what they do – I am curious; but ideally I would love them to capture my imagination so that I can A, remember it and B, introduce them to other people that might be interesting or relevant to them.

The more real the conversation you have with someone when you meet them at a business event the more likely they are to remember which business card is yours, from the many that they collected (though this is not a quantity game – having one real conversation is worth 50 superficial one’s). But please no wearing the heart on the sleeve either – no one is really interested in your life story when you have just met.

One of the most useful things for me when meeting people is to simply ask lots of questions – but then again I am a very curious person so it comes naturally. And hint here – DO really listen to the answer and recall it…

Here are some questions that might take your conversations to a bit of a deeper level.

What makes the thing you do special?
What do you guarantee?
What do your customers say about you?
Do you have a purpose?
What is your BHAG? (you might have to explain this one)
By which values is your company driven?
Where did your values come from?
If you could swap places with another human being alive today who would it be?
What do you like most in other people?
Who do you respect the most?

Just thought I’d share – because in my opinion no one really wants to be ‘networked at.’ I personally don’t ever ‘script’ the sort of questions I will ask – my curiosity allows that to happen naturally – my intention here is to get you thinking beyond the obvious standard run of the mill questions that every one asks. It is about dancing in the conversation– and PS these events are not a place to ‘sell’ to people – they are a place to create relationships – never talk at people… it is very ho hum.

‘Networking’ events are an opportunity to GIVE not to GET – be generous with your time, listen deeply and be truly interested and you never know you might end up meeting a friend for life.

Reader Interactions


  1. Well said Naomi – I agree with every word you have written. Here’s to more “dancing”!

  2. What a wonderful way to start a Friday. Thank you!

    I am a new subscriber to your RSS feeds and just wanted to reach out to say how much value your posts have brought to my week. I really appreciate the way in which you share your experiences, rather than provide ego-driven advice that need be followed to the letter, and the silver lining you find in every situation is truly admirable.

    I hope that none of this sounds patronising! Written comments can tend to do so… I just wanted to say thank you thank you thank you! And have a fantastic weekend!

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